|
8:40 PM
heart-warming and wishing.
Interesting. I can't really find anything to post. My feelings? Hell no.:)If I told you I'd have to kill myself.:p joke.Gah. I feel sad. Yup. Thats it... But sad is just a word. If you feel sad at the momentt, it would be just a fraction of the agony my soul is feeling. BLEH. I'm being sentimental again..Girl: Do I ever cross yourmind?Boy: NoGirl: Do you like me?Boy: Not reallyGirl: Do you want me?Boy: NoGirl: Would you cry if I left?Boy: NoGirl: Would you live for me?Boy: NoGirl: Would you do anything for me?Boy: No wayGirl: What would you choose: your life..or me?Boy: My lifeThe girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if youleft. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.I'm sooooo.... missing aikido. Yeah.:) I need an outlet...Peace-Out.I miss living...-ian-
[0] comments
::::::::::[ian fade§ away]::::::::
I'm an angel tainted black...
9:07 AM
Nothing.
I'm depressed. I'm thinking that maybe I really don't have a purpose in this world.That's just it. I wake up one morning finding myself in this world (though constantly reminded that I'm not "of" it) getting that sense of oneness with the worldly atmosphere and feeling to tempted so indulge with what it offers. When I dont even need it.Ian, just WHAT are you getting at?!!Nothing.The word nothing I mean.Nothing can mean everything.Hearing nothing connotes a negative meaning in our sub-conscious thoughts. But I have thought about it lately and realized that I'm a Nobody.Zip. mmhmmm. bap. zilch. nothing.I've been dreaming lately. My hopes and dreams. Sadly reminiscing my un-redeemed life. I don't really feel safe though in announcing what my dream is. Let's just say, I was dreaming and hoping for a better life in the future.So here I was doubting God's calling again for no good reason and come to think of it, I might be doing so in rebellion.My thoughts zeroed in on one thing. . . God, I could still be a christian and be _________________ . . .
I'm not quitting God, I'm just re-arranging my plans.
and it hit me
"Who do you think you are"
Who am I compared to God? Amen. I'm nothing.
I came back to my senses and realized I was in a state of emotional rebellion for no good reason.
Maybe I'm going make a new blog. A more serious one. *Argh!* How F-ing stupid could parents get?!?!
[0] comments
::::::::::[ian fade§ away]::::::::
I'm an angel tainted black...
9:03 AM
An idiom meaning; to suffer un-requited love.
Tasha and Cecille are great friends. Joe was Cecille's admirer, Tasha was Joe's "bridge". Or to say the least, Tasha didn't really like to be caught in the middle of a process where hearts were going to be broken.You see, Joe would do almost anything and everything for Cecille. Cecille knew that all along, and she didn't like that. She basically used her good friend Tasha to be her "sheild". She just wanted out of this pesky guy's target.So one day, Tasha mustered enough courage and just told Joe flat out "Cecille's not interested in you". Joe must have undergone a lot of courage-mustering as well as he answered, "I will not believe it 'til I hear it straight from Cecille's mouth""GULP!" Through Tasha's mind, scenes of previous "girl talks" played."That guy's a loser""He's soooooo. . ."and so on. . . Joe had to learn the hardway.
To cut the story, Joe was shot point-blank the next morning. The shooter has been identifed as Cecille, using a 3-inch, 6600, nokia germany, caliber phone.
[0] comments
::::::::::[ian fade§ away]::::::::
I'm an angel tainted black...
2:00 PM
Moody!? No... Depressed?! Somewhat. Nostalgic?! F up...:p
Well… I’m here. *laughs* I’m not really supposed to be here… We were supposed to go to Tagaytay today, but I didn’t want to go… No reason. I just didn’t feel like it. Haha! I’m supposed happy right? Because there aren’t any classes… I’m not. I think I got up on the wrong side of the bed or something…
I COULDN'T Sleep last night. Again... So I played the guitar. My guitar. Sure. Whatever...Ü I played "Summer Romance"...:p Here's a test I took:
The True You | | You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you. | | With respect to money, you spend carefully and save your pennies. | | You think good luck might come your way, but if it does you'll be so surprised you'll burst out laughing. | | The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society. | | You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. | | When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends. |
I’m wearing a G3000 white shirt, a classic Levis fit pants, denim sneakers, an off-the-wall hat from duty free, and a Nike-band. Whatever. I’m just so… annoyed. We have so much homework to do. Well, not really that much but any of the 17 classmates I’ve asked and the 27 sites I’ve gone to don’t have the freakin’ answers to the science homework.. I guess I’ll have to try harder... *laughs*
I gave the OnL Album, well, sent it to Anne [www.thesocialanimal.blogspot.com] yesterday. *laughs* I even came with the house-help, Ate Weng. I asked her to give the Album, while I waited in front of the house, just a few feet away... We went there at around 6:19… Anne kung nababasa mo to, I don’t mind giving the Album, it was my pleasure. Really.Ü
Damnit! The aikido belt promotion is on Saturday… AND I haven’t memorized all the techniques YET… But I’m going to ask some friends to help me. *grins* thanx PiPoL!!!
Well, I’ve got to go now… Advanced study and projects/home works beckon…:p
[0] comments
::::::::::[ian fade§ away]::::::::
I'm an angel tainted black...
6:36 PM
movies...:p
Sorry for the 7 people who've been texting me on my sun cellphone... king, vince, eliz, anne... etc. MY LOAD JUST EXPIRED TODAY. How annoying is that... Haha! freakin' cellphone. and sim. and world.:pI just read Akiko's blog. *laughs* I'm also thinking of making a "secret" blog thing... Sure. TO put all my pain and sorrow in a blog no-one knows. NO-ONE. Whatever.:p I'm also PLANNING to make a blog to put all my amateur literary works. I'm only going to tell the addresses to my closest friends. To the people I can trust. Hopefully.I'm going to watch "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" action and comedy movie. I'm watching with a couple of friends. A couple of FRIENDS. OR.. I could just watch with my uncle. Maybe I'll do that. Considering my mood.:) Uhm, to the people who look at the pix, just put the mouse over them and a "description or whatever will appear.:DON OTHER STUFF:This first day of classes has been great. BORING to some extent, but great...:)*Argh* The AGS' dismissal tommorrow is 3:00pm crap. I might not be able to go to aikido practice... That sucks. Especially when the promotion to go to the next belt is next week... And I haven't memorized the techniques YET. But I'll try harder..:p
[0] comments
::::::::::[ian fade§ away]::::::::
I'm an angel tainted black...
6:30 PM
Biking in the rain. I did.:p
I did'nt get to post this yesterday. *laughs* I didn’t change ANYHING ayt?:p ♪-sipol-♪
BTW, I broke my F doorknob. Haha. Cool. I had no idea I could do that… I also broke, well, nearly broke another door’s lock. *laughs* Oops.
I WANT TO PLAY DRUMS NOW!!! I need the freakin' NOISE.
SATURDAY:
Biking in the rain feels good. In a very strong rain. 30% visibility. 17% chance of slipping on the road. I’m not really allowed to go outside the subdivision but I did, I even nearly got hit twice by cars… I THINK. One was near the PLDT building. I stopped at around Unciano Medical Center… THEN turned back home. Nobody knows that. Until now anyway… On the way back, I slipped down the hill, a muddy hill and nearly slammed my head on the concrete. That’s why when I got home, my Aunt was wondering why my shirt was so muddy… *grins* I told her that I slipped on my bike in front of the house. Right. I’ve got bruises but I don’t mind.*laughs AGAIN* I’m going to try it out again sometime.Ü
That's right. I did. So what? Haha... Sana magka-pneumonia ako. Yun naman gusto ng mundo diba?! *laughs*
This day was pretty good. I woke up at 11. For me thats LATE. Crap. Everyday, at least everyday that I have classes, I wake up at 4:00 or 4:30... It felt weird somehow. Well, I really can't expect myself to wake up at an earlier time because I slept at around 4. I couldn't sleep AGAIN. *laughs* That's life.
Today, just before I went to Aikido, me 2nd string broke. That sucked. Anyway… I’m going to buy myself a new string and I’m saving up for another guitar. Yes. Another guitar. Since my guitar doesn’t have a freakin’ amp… What the F… It’s only about 8000 Php. I need about 2 months without eating. *grins*
Someone told me that I’ve been a zombie for a long time. So, I asked, “Define zombie…” So the person said,
Someone who finds it hard to sleep, finds it hard to eat, usually stares of into space, distracted nyhis thoughts, more or less a pessimist, usually in a slump, has only one sentence on his lips, “I want to, but I have no chance”, TRIES his best not show any emotion, and when the emotion is so strong, he converts that certain emotion into another, more unlikely one in order to hide that very emotion. May pagka-plastik...
Whatever. I just walked away.
WE actually didn’t have Aikido today. Master Copino wasn’t there. So what did we do during the 2 hours? We messed around… *laughs* We did. It was fun… It was ok… We divided ourselves into different groups, doing what we wanted to do to spend our time; Playing guitar, rolling, playing with the JO and/the Bokken, the Arnis [I think…:p], grappling[?!] and annoying people. It was fun… When our 2 hours were over, Jay and Lyman told us that they were planning to go to the ‘night’ session, but unfortunately we weren’t allowed… That SUCKED. *laughs* But I don’t really mind…:p
Summer’s ENDING way too soon… I don’t want it to end yet. Well, not really. I want to be busier… To have more to do.:p
END
I want to watch "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"... Cute. I like guns. But I like daggers better... somewhat. Actually I try to act tough. I just TRY.:))
Well, that’s it. *laughs* Nothing really happened today. Nothing exciting that is…:p Almost nothing. Just one last thing… CONGRATULATIONS to a couple there for their anniversary!!! *laughs* Ingat! *grins* 1 month na sila ngayon!!!
Ingat PiPoL…
iAn here signing off. *sips a cappuccino* really.:p
[0] comments
::::::::::[ian fade§ away]::::::::
I'm an angel tainted black...
11:32 PM
Life’s like that; it sucks. Sometimes I get tired of living. Oh… Look, daggers.
That’s right. In our house I know where the decorative katanas, bolos, knives daggers and switchblades are. I’m not as nice as I look.Ü
Like my pic?;)
I just came from my Advanced Guitar and Drum lessons. It’s like jamming actually, though there are only 3 of us… *laughs* During my guitar lessons hour, kuya Francis [strumming] and I [lead] played the guitar while kuya Ernest played the Drums. We played “Play that funky music”. I played the lead for ‘cause it was easy. *laughs* The strumming part was harder… I think. During the drum lessons hour, I played the drums [of course!] while my 2 “teachers” played the guitars. That time we played “I’m Crazy for you”.*grins* Pumiyok si kuya Francis…*laughs* [♪♫♪]
Through-out the session I had fun. We were, well, very noisy. Here’s just one of the conversations we had… *laughs[again]* I’m blogging like a girl aren’t I?*does a mocking pout* LoL
ian: kung nakalabas ang ngipin ni kuya francis para siyang kuneho…*laughs*
francis: weh… si ernest yung mukhang kuneho eh. *laughs[rin]*
ernest: di kaya! ikaw yung mukhang kuneho eh… kunehong korteng pagong! Kunegong…*laughs the hardest*
I know it was kinda corny but what the hell. I wanted to have a good time. I wanted to forget. Did you know? I drink sherry/wine at least 3 times a day. Why? Take a guess. Sometimes I want to commit sucide. *laughs* I’m too much of a pessimist…
Here’s a flashback.*grins*
YESTERDAY:
I watched a little parade of “Flores de Mayo” in our subdivision… on my OLD bike. After that I exercised using the bike by circling the place [damn it was tiring] and going up uh… hills, going through rocky terrain… 5 times. *laughs* pathetic right?! Not really, I felt somewhat tired, NOT exhausted, I hardly get exhausted. Believe me. *laughs again*
Back to the present:
I gotta work-out again. Huh… I got to be in shape for Grappling tomorrow. I’m going to beat the freakin’ crap out of that big-headed blue-belt. Joke. It’s a game, nothing to be angry about. *grins* A rematch is what I need. I know it’s not good, but I’m still going to beat the freakin’ crap out of the guy…-_- JOKE LANG! wannabe tough lang ako. still, revenge. ;P
God. I’m in for another sleepless night. *laughs [AGAIN]* I’m an insomniac, so I usually sleep late at night but wake up early. Someone said I have too much on my mind. That I find it hard to concentrate on things. How sad is that? *LAUGHS* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha.
I WANT TO GO TO SAISAKI AGAIN. The last time I’ve been there was 2 weeks ago. I’ve been there A LOT of time but I just love Japanese food.*BIG GRIN* Japanese buffets are my heaven. Well, it’s second to Bookstores. I’m a total nerd. *laughs* Still I’d settle for a cheap take-out from Tokyo-Tokyo…
LAST WORDS.:)
Jay, I already sent you the testimonial…
Anne, the Sun network’s really busted. Either that or my cell phone is…Ü
Tin, text me whenever there’s a gig somewhere, I’ll bring some friends over, you bring yours and we’ll have one hell of a big barkada.:p
Miggy, stop with the crappy “Ian loves to go out but has no-one to go out with.” line. Like I have a chance. Hahaha! How hopeless am I… *laughs*
I gotta go. Pis Awt.:)
影 -shadow
[0] comments
::::::::::[ian fade§ away]::::::::
I'm an angel tainted black...
|