::Mahirap mag-mahal ng lihim::

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

2:15 PM

so cold. enjoy coke. :p

and im back!
GOD. im so bored! especially with this wretched monotony of a life... right.

last night i had the strangest dream..[dream telling?! yehey! amf..]

--->>i was in a dimly lit corridor with dark blue walls, but they had a faded quality to them, and near part of the wall, where it and the floor met, was a black shade, like a shadow, but much, much darker.I walked through the corridor for hours, or so i think/thought.. then, i run.. like something was after me. for some reason, the scene suddenly changes. my arms and feet are bound tighly to ropes, and im spread-eagled, lying face-first on the floor, and i hear chanting. i try to move but im too tightly bound. then someone[?!] whispers in my ear, i dont, remember the words but i remember that right after, a painful sensation rips through my senses. a hard, heavy object keeps on hitting my back, blow after painful blow after painful blow... then everything stops, then i see the bottom of a cloak, a black on, stop about an inch from my head, then.. nothing. i see black. just black. then i hear screaming. then i realize it was just me... i was covered in blood, for what reason i do not know. then i see the cloak again. AND THEN I WAKE UP!

ang labo diba?! when i woke this morning, my back hurt like in the dream. but not that much. it felt like angelosat on it...[peace angelo kung nabasa mo man to!] freaky. and my wrists and ankles were a little chafed..neway.. dont want to talk 'bout anymore.. weird kasi. parang talagang nangyari... :O

sa 3 nga plang isha: uli! makulit ako... ^_^
isha [cuzin; krizia]
isha [shang or ishie or ish...]
isha [alyssa]
ung mga name nio nalang para di malito..

yehey. yesterday i bought 3 books. David Eddings-Enchanter's endgame.[one of my favorites... basta fantasy bibilihin ko agad...], uhm, a dragonlance series book; hilig ko ang mga ganyan.[maraming writers un eh!] and The sicilian[mario puzo].. i finished 2 them this morning.. haha! ewan...

e2 na ung poem. korni ha. ako gumawa eh. :pkainis tlagang miss ko na maging editor sa school paper.. may nagagawa ako eh! the joy of having your name. in print! hahahaha!
Artifice;[n. ar-ti-fis]

-Artifice-

a paper mache barrier,
you hide your wearer's facade,
emotions are behind you,
you show a faux charade...

adorned with bright colors,
you're displayed by your wearer,
people around you only see,
your faultless creaseless brow

since your making,
you've worn that frozen smile,
seemingly always happy 'bout something,
decieving people all the while..

before your false exterior,
that those around you behold,
is someone neither inferior nor superior,
nothing out of the ordinary mold,

yet what makes him different,
is that he is a great pretender,
that all his time is spent
to make all emotions colder..

fearful of feeling pain again,
he has accomplished this for years,
doing it since way back then,
just reaped held back tears...

all his cries are muffled,
by the concealment he had made,
masking anger, sadness even joy,
for heavy is the price to be paid...

deceit and lies are the cards he plays,
and falsehood is his game,
in his doorless room he stays,
with only himself to blame...

but before the pretender was a man,
and before the mas there was none,
before widthrawal was a plan,
from his woe he didn't run

that was far in the past,
ages to him it seems,
when he thought it could last,
one of life's joyous yet mournful themes...

behind his decieving pretense,
his fallacious mask,
is but a piece of who he was,
torn by the dispersing of illusion,

a fantasy,
a daydream,
a delusion,
then a trick,

this false impression,
is all he'll ever have,
a chimera,
its but a fabrication...

or in itself, a revelation.

WE ALL PRETEND. 'think bout it.

its summer, but i can't help but feel so cold. ok ok?[ala queenie!!! joke lang. heyy.. ill call you sumtime tommorrow or later k? k! :D]

can't get this freakin' song outta mah' head: :0
["if i could, then i would, i'd go wherever you will go..."]
'cause i cant get the freakin plucking! asar. pshaw... hehe.. :p

fade away.

[0] comments

::::::::::[ian fade§ away]::::::::

4 | | |I'm an angel tainted black... | | | 3

the shademaster

that's me. torpe to the max!:p
ian.15.shy-quiet atenean sophomore.
torpe DAW.:))
god. ibanez guitars. dragons.
cellphones. gimmik. GIGS.
writing stories and poems.
jamming. music. YM.
eastwood. books. stealth..
weights. bikes. anime.
ethnic stuffz. aikido:p

How well do you know me?:p

jammin' it up...

INTERNATIONAL...[ata.:p]

Incubus. Coldplay.
Hoobastank. Maroon5.
Linkin Park. The Calling.
Blink 182. Green Day.
3 Doors down. Puddle of Mudd.
Switchfoot. Weezer.
U2. Matchbox20. Yellow card.

LoKaLe'..:)

Rivermaya. Spongecola.
Mojofly. Sugarfree.
M.Y.M.P. Bamboo.
Moonstar88. Eraserheads.
Sandwich. Mayonnaise.
Kjwan. Parokya ni Edgar.
Session Road. 6cyclemind. Hale.

Chalklit. Gorgeous Garbage.:D

...or else

espada. jay hirit ka patay ka saken.:p
no bashing.
no hating.

no calling me bookish.
no insulting or racism.

~~no jokes.~~kidding!

no plaigarizing or i might kill you.
ask permission first before
taking anything from MY blog.
joking!!! muhahahaha!
no really. dont. :p

leave a msg at the tagboard. joke!:p

shadowy wishes

rawr. ang tapang ko dito. papuntang eastwood.:p
canon IXUS 400 digital camera
20G i-Pod
~~more junk food in my room.~~
another ibanez electric guitar
~~a girlfriend.~~hell no!... la'ng pag-asa!
a 3rd phone.
unlimited load.
~~MORE friends.~~
japanese buffet! again.
~~an inspiration... right.~~

shadow contact

[[angeltaintedblack]] friendster/YM/e-mail/:
ian_under15@yahoo.com

[add me up ayt?!]

shadowy figures

aoi-chan;master of shadows
anne;luv k0 2! my BesTy.Ü
akiko;jap girl.:D
angel;alive-enix.:p
erika;rainbow-seeker
rica;thoughts nya.:p
isay;is back
ann/gian;gee-ann
gio;giotistic
b-boys;pugad B
saab;incugurl
stab23x;devil's spawn
gerlynn;sunshine and jellybeans
ktine;to infinity and beyond
cessa;little miss sadist
3cia;she is what she is
dale;nostaliaa
nique;out of the ordinary psycho
shang;she who writes
bianca;the funky wild thing
rainne;always the crazy her.:p
mich;the asteeg
maverick;she bites. :p
paula;anime at heart.;)
kambz;the talking sheep goat
iggy;kapamilya ata ni julius.:p
jon;undefined jester
chizu;gakka-mo0n
aisa;dangerously kulot.:p
chel;she is emily
nica;saturnoozfreak.:p
vince;mr.soiree.joke!:p
alex[a?];may sanib
jay;within shattered walls.:D
jopoy ceasar mukhang salad.:));euro-fritz.:p
raph;cool layout addict.:D
mm;milk-chocol8.:p
camille;she rocksss...:p
carmel;fabulous
kat;nakadungaw sa buwan
cathy;sila na ba ni Ej? joke!:p
eliz;one beautiful disaster
luigi;tox-tokwafumet

want me to link you? tell me!
there's a shout box to the right... :p

shadow links

blogger
blogskins
boxtorrents
downloadanime.org
haloscans
tag-board
Funny jokes!
Search? Lookin 4 sumthin?
Attitiude attitiude..LoL
Make new friends!
Spongecola... naaaalala ko ang mga gabi..;p

creds.:p

Basic layout by aoi.:)
Largely Improved by ian.:p

And a thanks to Julius for the "no right click" thing.:p

make some sense

best viewed in 1024 X 768 resolution. a brief history about the author pertaining to the theme of shadow of transcendence. it came about in the wee hours of the early morning while being whisked away into memories of the past etched deep within the mind. bittersweetness that tingled the tastebuds of my emotions and feelings, the only way out for true liberation from this reality is what is behind the shadow of transcendence; suicide. the taste of iron-rust blood coiled with the lingering bittersweetness is the only contemplation of which the simplicity of life has to offer in exchange for the shadow of transcendence. made in the heavens through one creator, an angel borne to serve man; fell from where it belonged to earth where its purity shadowed by boredom and nohing better to do.

enjoy what i make out of maturity and childish fantasies.

wanna.bring.it.out?shout!

sorry guys. i took away the shoutbox.:p it's on my new blog.:)

ancient shadows

December 2004 ::: January 2005 ::: February 2005 ::: March 2005 ::: April 2005 ::: May 2005 ::: June 2005 ::: July 2005 ::: August 2005 :::